I Hope My Friends Are Enjoying Rehab

I suspect that they are. I am positive that one will hate it, but she hates just about everything so this should be no different. The others I suppose will be able to make the most of it, as they certainly made the most of the parts before rehab. Those parts which actually brought about rehab. I think they are probably generally jolly people and can find the silver lining in group discussion and puppetry.

What is more fun than meeting new people?

I keep having parties. It's really an accident, but since I have too much house and too few brain cells, I keep inviting people over. Last night it was bowling. Then back to my place where we tried salvia. I had never heard of it, but I'm sure it will be illegal soon. It made me want to sit down, and I did. Wherever I happened to be. Then it's over in about 4 minutes. I inhaled the cherry. I forgot about that and woke up this morning thinking I was getting strep. But no. I just burned a hole in the back of my throat.

Piper Is Not Too Bright

My brother's dog split the pad almost completely off her right paw last week. This required 8 stitches. It's about healed up now, and we unstitched her and she was happy. Then, today she did it again. On the other paw this time. I did the cleanup myself and I don't think she needs stitches this time. When I went outside to figure out how the hell this kept happening, I found a strip of aluminum siding which had been buried, but which has now become unearthed due to erosion or something. I pulled it out. My point is that this dog is stupid.

It was a great birthday

Al had a great birthday. Collin also enjoyed his birthday. In fact, I am fairly ciertain that everyone had a fantastic birthday except for the girl who hit the deer.

I Am Still Sad That Dimebag Is Dead

What a terrible thing to hear about Johnny Carson.

I throw a monsterous great party and someone rips off my laptop. Actually, it was Wade's laptop. That makes it even worse. But not worse than trying to wipe something off of the bottom of your shoe as you are cleaning behind the couch and...what is that thing stuck to the bottom of my shoe, anyway? Oh. It's a dead mouse stuck in between my shoe and a glue trap. I touched it. No picture.

No picture, OK?!!

Space In A Closet

I must be the only person in the world who takes clothes to Goodwill based purely on the fact that I am running dangerously low on coathangers.

I slept until 4pm again

My house is the fucking Secret of Nimh. I have noted the presence of Oprah Winfrey II, and have resolved to dispatch her as I did her mother. Or club her to death with a roll of contact paper. I am such a predator. Yesterday, I saw her fly out from under my bed, across the dining room and BANG! Right into the dog bowl which sounded like a bell and probably hurt. I'm giving her a 24 hour head start from right now for being amusing. Unfortunately, she will probably waste this generous gift milling around under the dishwasher.

Oprah Winfrey is dead

I awoke to tiny squeaks. Suddenly, being quiet is not so critical when you are ankle deep in glue. Anyway, Oprah Winfrey was pissed off to see me and began to flail about. I think the glue trap ended up about 4 feet from where I had originally left it. After she wore herself out, I snapped a picture of my little captive and went out back to fill a bucket with water. I honestly thought Oprah Winfrey would have lasted a bit longer, but she drowned in 20 seconds.

Now I must disinfect my counters.

A Name for a Mouse

I have a mouse. I haven't given him a name because I am actively trying to kill him, but I am beginning to feel a bit remorseful about that. Sure, he shits on my counter, and sure he hauls empty Velveeta packets into the bowels of my oven, and naturally I get irritated when I reach for something around the house and he leaps out and causes me alarm. But is it his fault? Of course not. I am filthy. And I have central heat. I would probably have moved in, too.

He is so small, and he leaves his crap wherever he happens to be when he is finished with it. So you see, we are really two of a kind. And since my brother moved out, he is sort of filling a void.

one white sock

I am doing laundry today. Life is a drag. Because I know that now that the whites are in, I am going to find a random sock somewhere and it will just be too late. That dirty sock is just going to have to wait until next laundry day and its clean mate will also have to wait. And I won't want to put the clean one away because I am weird like that and don't like straggling socks in the sock drawer so I will put it on the dresser or something. And that is how I will lose it. Then the other one will be clean and I will have no idea where the first clean one is anymore. This is terrible.

before the dog barks

Suppertime comes and goes around me. It makes little difference what time it is or what the last thing I ate was. I only eat when I am hungry. Or when it is free. The only time it is mealtime is at my family's house. I don't eat at the television anymore, since my brother moved away with the X-Box and DVDs and I don't have cable. The dining room table is piled high with books. I usually just stand in the kitchen and look at the mouse shit.

there was glass in my grandmother's foot

i never had a blog. i have a website. that's different. but since i must register to post fun comments on other people's blogs, i might as well use it. my website is sort of a blog, except with the added benefits of loads of space, methods of adding audio, cascading style sheets and my meticulously designed button array at the top. it does have it's downside though. mainly that i have to deal with code and ftp just to post for the day. this seems easier. also, my mother doesn't know about it so, unlike my website, it doesn't have to be rated PG-13. Fuck.