I have to listen to people screw constantly.
You would think as you near 30, the probability that you are going to have to listen to anyone besides yourself and whoever you are fucking fuck would decrease. That might be the cleverest sentence I have ever written.
No kidding, though. It happens in other rooms of the house. It happens in the yard. It happens in the parking lot at work. On Friday it happened across the trunk lid of my car. It must have been misty. There are passionately smeared hand-prints on the back window. Everyone is getting to have sex but me and it is getting a little disconcerting. Mostly because on the rare occasion that I have been able to have sex, I made some attempt to not do it in front of people who are not getting any. It's a common courtesy. Or so I thought.
I didn't get the memorandum about the new policy of public rutting. If you see a skinny, shaggy guy who isn't getting laid, rub it in. Extra points if he walks in on you doing it on the kitchen counter.
No kidding, though. It happens in other rooms of the house. It happens in the yard. It happens in the parking lot at work. On Friday it happened across the trunk lid of my car. It must have been misty. There are passionately smeared hand-prints on the back window. Everyone is getting to have sex but me and it is getting a little disconcerting. Mostly because on the rare occasion that I have been able to have sex, I made some attempt to not do it in front of people who are not getting any. It's a common courtesy. Or so I thought.
I didn't get the memorandum about the new policy of public rutting. If you see a skinny, shaggy guy who isn't getting laid, rub it in. Extra points if he walks in on you doing it on the kitchen counter.
posted by jks_ at 1:28 AM
4 Comments:
It could be worse. It could be the noise of your parents doing it.
I never implied that it wasn't.
If you can hear your parents doing it and they are in Florida, then you either have the hearing of a bat, or your mom is one hell of a screamer.
I kind of glad you brought this up. sorry 'bout all that. it turned out to be one of those wierd weekends. but we've got one pussy already locked away by psudo-commentment and the other only gets into it once or twice a year anyway so.... sorry about your car. i still think it's fucking overrated. wanna do it?
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